choices

Since starting this process, it has been very hard not to want to point fingers and blame each other for why we are even in the financial mess we are in. It's easy to be angry and hold grudges. It's easy to say hurtful things when we feel hurt or wronged ourselves. It's easy to make comments that can be destructive to our marriages. Even though it can feel really good in that moment to "make a point" or "be right", it's temporary, because it was the wrong and selfish way to handle the situation. That "good feeling" soon turns to guilt and embarrassment and nothing good will come of it.

I am realizing now more than ever, that the toughest times in our life is not only when we are challenged the most, but when we are given the best opportunity to grow in wisdom, strength and kindness. Going through this journey is challenging. It's not just about the money, it's about our marriage and our life.

I was reminded of what God says in this devotion. Every situation we are given in life comes with a choice. And each choice comes with consequences that will either bring blessings to our marriage and family or it will bring destruction. With God's help, the choice is ours!


"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

I often hear my husband Scott say something to my sons that brings a smile to my face. "Have you told your mom you love her today? Don't ever forget you have the best mom in the world." When I hear him praise me to our sons, I feel encouraged and appreciated. From my husband's example, I've learned to be careful about the words I say not only to my husband but also about my husband.

Today's verse tells us our words can bring "death or life." In our marriages, this means our words can either tear down our spouses or build them up. I've been noticing lately if I'm more likely to say words such as, "I'm married to the greatest man." Or do my words tend to be critical, such as, "I told you so," or "You don't even try to understand me"? What about you and your words to your husband? When you speak to your husband, do you fill him up with praise or make him feel like he's not measuring up?

Now let's consider the words we say about our husbands to others. What kind of things do you say about your husband to your children, best friend, sister, or mother? I tend to be a venter when I am angry or frustrated with my husband. Sometimes I turn to others because I'm seeking validation for my angry feelings. Often I vent when I haven't taken the time first to deal with the situation with God. I'm learning that if I go to the Lord first in prayer, pouring out my heart to Him, He changes my heart and brings me to a place of repentance and calmness. Then I'm able to let go of my anger and move on or talk to my husband in a loving manner.

Scripture gives plenty of evidence that God's words have the power of life. In Genesis we're told God
created every inch of the world with His spoken words. John 1:1 tells us that Jesus is the Word. Throughout the Gospels, Jesus heals countless people with the power of His words. In a similar manner, God wants our words to bring life to our marriages. We can choose what we will sow—words of life or words of death—and we will reap the consequences many times over.

So will you take some time today to consider the words you use to and about your spouse?

Dear Lord, let my words to my spouse and about my spouse draw us closer to one another. Teach me to communicate in ways that build my husband up. Help me hold my tongue when I'm about to say something that will tear him down. If pride, stubbornness, selfishness, or any other sin is preventing me from speaking words of life in our marriage, Lord, I confess that right now. Make me aware of any words of death I've spoken in our marriage , and as the Holy Spirit brings those to my mind, help me confess and turn from them, especially any words of divorce. Guided by Your wisdom and love, may our words to and about one another build a protective wall around our marriage. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Ephesians 4:29, "Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift."

Psalm 19:14, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer."

I have a wonderful husband. He truly loves me unconditionally. Sure, he may have faults, but so do I. He is a blessing. He is someone God handpicked for me, because He knows he is what I need. I love him very much. I am looking forward to this journey with him, I look forward to changing our life and our family and growing through this together and no matter what life brings, I look forward to spending the rest of my life with him.

I Love you Dan!


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